mental manifestations

For the recent month and a half, I have been placed in charge of all things webby for this new youth organization in Massachusetts. We’re called Youth A.C.T., a group for empowering youth and getting them involved in their community. We’re still in the process of getting up and running but already have some events and projects going on. From my technical point of view, this has presented me with an interesting problem of how to run this website.

Basically the whole website infrastructure came down to what kind of CMS do I want to run. I had tested out various ones like Joomla! and whatever random ones my hosting provider had. They weren’t too impressive and didn’t fit our needs (read: mine). I had previously worked a little bit with Drupal 4.7 while I was working at the University of Maryland, and that was the first CMS that sprung to my mind. The other was Wordpress which I’ve also had experience with (since it’s what I use to run my blog).

Drupal has incredible community support. There are so many themes and modules so readily available. Basically what attracted me to Drupal (for the purposes of the Youth A.C.T. website) was the Event Manager module. This was perfect since we needed something for online user registration for an upcoming event. I got this up and running within minutes, and since then I have just steadily been putting other useful things together in Drupal.

However, there are some things about Drupal that irk me. While the administrative configuration is very comprehensive, it is also quite cumbersome and feels convoluted at times. For some time, I had shrugged it off and learned what I needed to do as I went along. Then there is the case for my other users — the various people (teenagers, young adults, older adults) who would come and also help administrate. Even though I have given them enough privileges to administer what they need to on the site, they are still confused. It is kind of a shock when you grow up in a such a technological age, but there are still lots of people who have no idea how their computer works let alone writing simple HTML code. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Doing a Gallery 2 integration with Drupal was a pain in the ass. Gallery 2 is just very bloated and feels difficult work with to the point where I had considered abandoning it for Wordpress. I understand Wordpress much more, and it may be better for the clueless user. The administrative navigation is a lot simpler and more straightforward (yay for version 2.5!) in my opinion. I bet my marbles WYSIWYG helps out a lot too. The other reason why I would move to Wordpress is because of laziness. I do not have much time outside of work, tai chi, kung fu, and other various activities. I also like to maintain a healthy sleep schedule as well. I understand how Wordpress works (to a degree, enough for me to carry on). While the Drupal documentation is extensive, comprehensive, and everything I’ve always wanted when I look for documentation, I just don’t have the time or patience presently to go through it all and learn it.

If I did move to Wordpress, I would just have to find replacements for the various modules I used in Drupal. There isn’t any built-in event management in Wordpress nor could I find an existing plugin for it, but there is always various tricks I can use to get around its shortcomings. Google Docs is wonderful for creating simple forms and surveys, and our organization (read: I) have already registered a Google Account for e-mail and document sharing (and people are still clueless on how to use Google Docs). While I’ve seen various gallery plugins for Wordpress, there isn’t anything stopping me from using Flickr (and even combining it with a plugin that uses its API). In the meantime, I’m still going to press forward with Drupal and try another album/gallery module. If it doesn’t work out, then I most likely will move to Wordpress. I could even potentially leverage volunteers to create themes (for either Drupal or Wordpress) since I have no artistic eye.

In the time that I spent writing this post, I could have been working on the website. And now I have to go to sleep for work tomorrow.

Being out of school for one year now has really changed a lot in the way I live. The “college life” is not one I can really do anymore. There are so many things that I just don’t do anymore. I’m losing interest in primetime television shows similarly how I eventually lost interest in Saturday morning cartoons when I was younger. There are hardly any games worth my time anymore (except for Nintendo and a few other handfuls). I’m starting to rediscover again how much crap I’ve collected and don’t need. I don’t try to be a stupid, cheap idiot as opposed to being frugal (big, big difference), and I don’t really do random things anymore. The whole lifestyle I had in college — one that everyone falls into just because it’s the thing to do (seriously, just go to Stuff College People Life) — isn’t who I am anymore.

Things change and lose their charm, and we eventually have to grow up. Maybe not now, but at some point. The college lifestyle isn’t really one I would want to jump back into anyway. When I was in my later years of college, I had gone on co-op for a long time with only one quarter of summer classes. By the time I had returned back to campus, the world I was accustomed to there felt so different and alien even with the few familiar pieces. I felt so old seeing all the young and inexperienced freshmen. I realized at some point in college that I would have to make some sacrifices in order to focus on my growing academic workload.

In a way, leaving college was similar to leaving high school. You think you’re ready for the road ahead, and yet there is still so much you don’t know. Then suddenly you’re just tossed into a different situation, and now you have to figure out things all over again. Looking back at high school students now, they are so young and inexperienced just like we were once. I’m now starting to have to deal with more grown-up things that the cocoon of college doesn’t really prepare you for — the kinds of things you don’t learn in classrooms. The freedom is there, but it is not something I have really had to deal with before.

I’m starting to appreciate shared human experiences more and more despite the “socialness” of the web and new emerging technologies. Now I’m starting to look at the housing market (seems like a great time to buy), considering graduate school a little seriously, thinking about the stock market, and trying to take care of myself in general (while I’m still living at home with my parents). There is still a lot of growing up I have to do, and that’s the part I don’t like.

Disclaimer: I may speak generally, but this is really from my perspective. It is by no means a declarative statement on the world.

I think programming in C is actually kind of fun.

There was a post on Slashdot earlier in the year pointing to an article about how Java is a bad language for computer science students. I generally agree with the points the article makes, especially given my CS education at RIT, but there are other considerations that should be taken into account.

At RIT, it is required for lots of majors (some engineering and other computery majors) to take at least Computer Science I through III. Those courses use Java as the introductory language. While Java is not hard to pick up, I don’t think it is as damaging as it is claimed to be. These introductory courses are pretty much meant to weed out the people who clearly can’t grasp computer programming. Sadly, this feels like a bad standard since the weed-out courses at other certain schools at more advanced than what I took as a freshman undergraduate.

Even after the introductory courses, there is still Computer Science IV (also required for many majors) which shifts to C++ and more upper-level courses (e.g. Operating Systems I, Programming Language Concepts, etc.) that these students need to learn. Anytime I have ever taken an upper-level CS course, we were always generally given the choice of using Java, C, or C++ for our projects. There are some exceptions where you are required to program in certain languages for a course or where you have more freedom to choose another language (like Haskell or Python). Generally, I always defaulted to Java. It was the language I knew best since it was the one I used the most. I never bothered to really learn other languages that well since it felt like I was spending more time trying to learn the language rather than do the actual assignment.

By that same token, I wish I had used other languages more often in my projects. I really didn’t understand pointers until I took a 2-credit course called “C for C++ Programmers” and used a book that didn’t feel dry or assume the reader was an idiot programmer (no need to go over beginner crap like for loops). “Analysis of Algorithms” was single-handedly the most useful course I ever took in the undergraduate Computer Science program. Unfortunately, I took it my last quarter at RIT, and it would have been so much more useful and applicable had I taken it earlier. I still can’t believe that course was not required at my university even though it is at other schools.

If I had a chance to do my whole degree over again, I would’ve taken more Software Engineering courses. The computer science curriculum isn’t bad at RIT, and there is much flexibility over what you can take. I just didn’t plan my schedule out very well. Had I read my CS handbook more closely, I wouldn’t have taken so many random upper-level CS topics. The point of Computer Science felt too academic and too theoretical for me, and I wish I had taken more practical things. Theory isn’t bad; in fact, people should learn why things work. Connecting the “why” with the “how” does not come easily for me if I approach from an abstract point of view. I learn much better from doing things hands-on emperically and experimentally.

Before I graudated, my algorithms professor was talking about what the Computer Science Department could do to retain students in the program. I don’t know what the problem is, but it may have to do with the way the entire program is taught. There are certainly many CS courses I could have done without because I didn’t feel like they prepared me at all for the “real world” (i.e. the working world). I think for a university like RIT, it would be more beneficial to do what Joel Spolsky suggests especially with RIT’s reputation and emphasis on the co-op program.

It’s too bad I didn’t land my first co-op until later in my undergraduate career though there were contributing factors to that. An economic recession was occuring at the time and nobody was really hiring, and nobody was really going to hire an idiot second-year student with nothing but a basic programming skill set. I don’t think Java is a bad language to have beginning programmers to use if they want to try programming. I think it is a bad language if you want to have them learn computer science. I guess it’s all about using the right tools for the right problem.

In general, the courses I took outside of the Computer Science program would have been more helpful if they had somehow been more integrated or coupled with my degree. This does not work for all courses (like liberal arts) but applies heavily to mathematics. It is unfortunate that such abstract topics are taught in a such a vacuum without any real, substantial connection to anything. It would have been nice to know why I needed something like statistics or linear algebra for computer science. It would have helped to know why I needed to wait through those boring, introductory courses before getting to the really interesting upper-level courses.

My problem with Java is that it didn’t really help prepare me for the rest of the Computer Science program, yet I still managed to make it through with a somewhat decent GPA. Whenever I look at other great programmers out there, I am immediately humbled by how little I know, and how inadequate my education really is. I haven’t been in the workforce for that long, and there is still a lot I don’t know. I don’t think there is a good catch-all cookie-cutter curriculum for everybody. It depends on what people want to do, and the solution would be to figure out how to nurture that interest. Blaming the issue entirely on the Java language is just a lack of insight on a bigger problem.

Goodbye, ‘07

Hello to 2008

Let’s see what happens

It has been approximately three months now that I have been in the so-called “real” world that comes after graduation. Even so, I’m still not really fully living on my own. I am currently staying with my parents for a while saving up some money (and paying off student loans) before I really decide to move out. I have almost no real expenses save gas which takes a chunk out of my monthly income since I have to drive approximately 80 miles round-trip between work and home. Other than that, life does not feel that much different than when I was on co-op and still a student in college. I get up each day, go to work, and then go home. Instead of being paid hourly, I have a salary plus benefits. I still hang out with my friends and go out from time to time.

Adjustment to this “real” world was initially difficult for me. It took me about a month before I started to feel somewhat comfortable with the life I had chosen. Plus I was coming off an entire summer of being free from any responsibilities. I traveled a lot and visited lots of friends. So when I had to buckle down come September (when a lot of people I knew were going back to school), I was very unwilling to face the reality of becoming a true adult.

The worst part of my daily routine is the commute. Driving to work can take at least an hour during rush hour traffic, and that was usually the biggest factor that would leave me in an upset mood every time I came home when I first started working. I would question the choices I made and whether they were right or wrong. I would ponder all the “what if” questions of taking a different path. I felt very lost, because I had no guidance on what to do with my life for the very first time. I’m more used to life now, but I don’t think the commute is something I could do forever. I will have to eventually move closer to work, find a new job closer to home, or both. That is still a ways off from now though.

Adjusting back to my home city has also been weird. In Rochester, you could get anywhere — restaurants, movie theaters, museums, anything — within a relatively reasonable amount of time. Boston has way too many cars; this city was not meant for driving. Friends are all over instead of concentrated in one area (i.e. the university). There is no Wegmans, no Dibella’s, no white hots, no “talking” to the deaf lady who works at the bank every time I go there, and I haven’t had the same customer service experience as I had at John Holtz Honda. I do miss Rochester at times because it was the place where I started to make a life for myself without the protective shield of my parents. In a way, I feel more connected with Rochester in a more community-oriented way. Living and growing up in Boston, I mostly confined myself to my school which is where I grew up the most. I haven’t found that same niche in Boston as the one I carved out in Rochester. There are plenty of things to do and see in Boston, but I just haven’t had the time to really explore all of them.

Of course, there have been positive aspects of moving back home. I’m finally starting to catch up with old high school friends even if I don’t see them that often. I started doing kung fu and tai chi at a school that is run by a friend I have known at the American Red Cross for a while. It’s been nice seeing all the people I missed while I was away at school in Rochester. I feel like it’s a good thing that I moved back home instead of another city where I would have to start another life all over again. The sense of belonging that I get from others is what keeps me going strong in life.

In the future, I don’t know what I will do. Perhaps I will move around to another city, but I think that is not very likely (at least for a while). I just can’t leave Boston yet due to my emotional attachment to people (and the city itself). My original plan was to move back home, stay for a while, then possibly leave. I’m starting to feel like I might not leave unless I had a very compelling reason to do so. I had originally intended my time during the summer to discover more about the world and myself and what I want to do with my life. That plan never came to fruition, and it might never given my habits of laziness.

Life always seems to move more quickly the older we become. The increasing exponential perception of time as we age makes us feel like there is never enough of it. The past five years in college have been so dramatically different that the six years I spent in a college preparatory school. I have changed a lot, but still quintessentially the same inside. I know that whatever choices I will make, good or bad, things usually work out for themselves. That is the one reality I have known all my life.

Decorating trees

Another Christmas season

Always fun to do

I have been doing kung fu and tai chi for a little over a month now, and I am picking things up quite quickly (so I’m told). I guess after looking back on my life, I have always had the ability to pick up most things in a short amount of time. However, this was not always the case. When I was younger, I fumbled around with any physical activity. I didn’t really understand kickball until the third grade when I just walked up and started playing despite having heard the rules so many times before. A few years later was when I started to discover how to put power into my kicks and start playing the outfield much better. I never really learned how to ride a bike though others have tried to teach me; I just picked it up and started riding it one day like it was nothing. Learning some basic martial arts during my early adolescent years came easily despite my lack of progression (due to schoolwork). After starting college, playing volleyball came almost naturally. Dodgeball was just pure instantaneous physical reaction often times having me end up as one of the last players to be hit out. For most of my life, I had also played the piano, and my ability grew tremendously. The first time I went water-skiing (basic instruction) in Greece, my instructor thanked me for making his job easier. My instructor on my first driving lesson (in Boston) said he was really impressed. I finished all my on-road lessons and got my license within two weeks. Even simple origami I could master faster than most people I knew.

After evaluating all the physical things that I can personally do well, it seems like I learned how to connect my body and mind to make them work together. Yet I am still limited given how my brain is wired (which is story for another day). Everything that I have learned to do physically is quite static. If I try to play basketball, where the dynamics of the sport are constantly changing, I will stumble around with dribbling, running around players, passing, and shooting. Even with playing the piano, I learned quickly how to play with my first teacher. With my second piano teacher, it was more refining my technique. It wasn’t until many years later with my third teacher that I finally understood that playing and making music is different. That was when she told me to sing with the piano. With all the physical rules laid out for what my body needs to follow, my mind is capable of handling all the stimuli on the backend. When the inputs start changing faster than my mind can process, my body will shut down and become non-responsive.

This isn’t to say that I couldn’t learn certain sports or physical activities at some point in life. I may perceive them as more difficult for me personally, but much practice and hard work can pay off. Something I find easy to do may give hard times for others. The mental-physical connection that I have is a trade-off in my experience. Thinking too much will diminish my physical performance whereas pure physicality results in lots of failed attempts with no understanding why. The “how” comes easily for me, but the “why” is often lost. What I need to do is start to train my mind to take what I know or learn and apply that in more creative and expanded ways. It’s not an easy process being rooted so strongly in rules, but at least it’s a fundamental base to start with as things usually go.

It’s nice to be home again even with all the differences between now and the city I grew up in.

I’m starting my fourth week in my full-time salaried job working as a software engineer. It’s been difficult adjusting to such the working life (as opposed to student life) especially since I accepted the offer and started so quickly. It is so much different than being on a co-op where I was paid hourly. In my salaried position, I am expected to put in a minimum of 40 hours and as many as necessary to complete my work while being paid the same no matter what. My current commute also takes up a lot of my daily time and fuel. Life just isn’t like what it was before; dealing with such a drastic change has been very hard for me.

A few weeks ago, I was desperately trying to hold on to what fleeting “freedom” I had left. I was fresh out of school, took the whole summer off visiting friends, going to Europe, moving back home, and having tons of fun. The only thing I could do is enjoy what I had. I’ve decided to take up kung fu and tai chi in my spare time to keep myself sane and not thinking about work all the time. So far it’s worked out pretty well, and I’m really enjoying what I’ve been learning so far.

My life each day consists of work and either kung fu or tai chi. I don’t get home until at least past 9 PM on most days. My parents are letting me stay with them for a while until I save enough money to get my own place. There are still many responsibilities of “being an adult” that I have not dealt with on my own yet (insurance, car payments, etc.), but have gotten a taste of when I moved off-campus in my college years.

My sister has gone off to college, and her absence has been weird since she left. I expect her to walk up the stairs at any moment at which point I would say something random and wacky to her. The silence is somewhat uncomfortable, but I imagine this is what life was like when I left for college five years ago. I still have friends who are going to school in Rochester, and it makes me sad that I cannot easily go and hang out on a whim at any time. I still have friends here at home, old and new, but it isn’t the same especially now that most of us are so busy with regular life. I’m starting to understand how some people have felt when they left college and moved to other areas not knowing anyone after building up all those relationships so tightly after the past years.

As much as I’m dreading so much change in such a little amount of time, I need to see this all out. What has happened in these past few weeks only play into the longer run, the big picture of what the future will be. My problem is that I want my life to be “perfect” (satisfactory enough) right now instead of earning it or waiting for it to happen and let things be. My life has no definite goal or end (like graduation or such) that I can see anymore. This really is the first day of the rest of my life. There is plenty of time in life to be patient for the things we want the most.