It’s nice to be home again even with all the differences between now and the city I grew up in.
I’m starting my fourth week in my full-time salaried job working as a software engineer. It’s been difficult adjusting to such the working life (as opposed to student life) especially since I accepted the offer and started so quickly. It is so much different than being on a co-op where I was paid hourly. In my salaried position, I am expected to put in a minimum of 40 hours and as many as necessary to complete my work while being paid the same no matter what. My current commute also takes up a lot of my daily time and fuel. Life just isn’t like what it was before; dealing with such a drastic change has been very hard for me.
A few weeks ago, I was desperately trying to hold on to what fleeting “freedom” I had left. I was fresh out of school, took the whole summer off visiting friends, going to Europe, moving back home, and having tons of fun. The only thing I could do is enjoy what I had. I’ve decided to take up kung fu and tai chi in my spare time to keep myself sane and not thinking about work all the time. So far it’s worked out pretty well, and I’m really enjoying what I’ve been learning so far.
My life each day consists of work and either kung fu or tai chi. I don’t get home until at least past 9 PM on most days. My parents are letting me stay with them for a while until I save enough money to get my own place. There are still many responsibilities of “being an adult” that I have not dealt with on my own yet (insurance, car payments, etc.), but have gotten a taste of when I moved off-campus in my college years.
My sister has gone off to college, and her absence has been weird since she left. I expect her to walk up the stairs at any moment at which point I would say something random and wacky to her. The silence is somewhat uncomfortable, but I imagine this is what life was like when I left for college five years ago. I still have friends who are going to school in Rochester, and it makes me sad that I cannot easily go and hang out on a whim at any time. I still have friends here at home, old and new, but it isn’t the same especially now that most of us are so busy with regular life. I’m starting to understand how some people have felt when they left college and moved to other areas not knowing anyone after building up all those relationships so tightly after the past years.
As much as I’m dreading so much change in such a little amount of time, I need to see this all out. What has happened in these past few weeks only play into the longer run, the big picture of what the future will be. My problem is that I want my life to be “perfect” (satisfactory enough) right now instead of earning it or waiting for it to happen and let things be. My life has no definite goal or end (like graduation or such) that I can see anymore. This really is the first day of the rest of my life. There is plenty of time in life to be patient for the things we want the most.