mental manifestations

A huge emotional investment came to closure late in the night after I finished watching LOST. I had a hard time falling asleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about the final episode, and I still couldn’t shake things off my mind when I was going into work this morning. I’ve only heard one perspective on the ending, and it’s one that resonates deeply. My first reaction after watching the show was that I needed to go hug lots of people. That’s a simplistic surface reaction, but I knew deep down there was something more that I hadn’t realized or comprehended yet. It was a lot to take in that late in the night, and I was still trying to make sense out of the details.

I was expecting full closure but intellectually. LOST was a show that was very well written with its complexity in story, characters, and unfolding. It had a huge amount of depth that kept viewers hooked and guessing what would happen. With the past season, the questions I had still weren’t being answered. After the end, I’ve decided that my questions don’t need to be answered because ultimately I don’t think it really matters. The final hours of LOST were emotionally fulfilling as everything came together and ended the events that started in the first episode and continued being told throughout the series touching upon past, present, and future.

Directly answering any lingering questions that people have had would have been too insulting for a show like this. I don’t doubt that there is more backstory that just hasn’t been revealed, and if LOST hadn’t ended now then maybe we would have seen it. I don’t think the writers were jerking the audience around (for the most part), and I think there is a larger message that they wanted to use the show as a carrier for. I think it’s up to us to decide what to do or how to interpret it. That’s exactly how I felt when I finished watching Broken Saints, and its creator, Brooke Burgess, really touches upon an important point.

The first season shows us why the people do what they do, how their past establishes their present. Later seasons show us the effects of the present actions on the future. Answers just lead to more questions. Everyone, cast characters and audience alike, are constantly asking questions of why. The audience finds out why through flashbacks that explain the character’s actions. We may not agree with their actions, but we understand their intentions and end up judging based on that.. In reality, judging on actions and drawing up conclusions is faster “rational” answer because it is so very externally apparent.

What I’m taking out of the show is to never forget who, what, and why we are. It’s all there sprinkled in every episode in all the characters’ lives and how their stories are told. We identify with characters and their flaws, values, and self-worth. At the end, it all comes to an emotional close. Leaving everything else unanswered, I think, was intention to keep everyone guessing and having them draw their stories for themselves. It’s a mirror for our own lives. It’s not about being lost physically but spiritually, confronting ourselves, and finding the things we really need to be whole again.

For a little over a month now, I have been shopping exclusively at Whole Foods Market. It was an experiment in managing my money given the type of food products they sell. I never really gathered any data from my experience. I made mental notes about how much I spent per week (which is usually how often I go buy groceries) while tracking all my other expenses in a separate application. I don’t think I can claim any real conclusions based on the “data” I have.

Initially I was spending more than I was normally spending at the other supermarket chain I regularly shopped beforehand. The amount though was not a significant total at all even if I include the extra fuel cost in transporting myself to somewhere not as convenient as my regular supermarket. The fact that I knew I would be spending more at Whole Foods that I knew (or so I think) cost more than regular supermarkets put me in a mentality of curtailing my spending. My diet hasn’t changed; it’s very regular and occasionally I buy something on a whim just to try it out or satisfy whatever craving I randomly have that day. I knew what I was going to buy and had a rough idea how much I would be spending. If I ran out of food, I would usually just buy a pre-made meal at the local supermarket or do a Chipotle run. I don’t have a budget per se for food. I tried making one but my value is an arbitrary ballpark number that is based on a weekly estimate of what I typically spent per week.

After spending over a month of shopping at Whole Foods, I don’t think I can go back to a normal supermarket. The atmosphere in Whole Foods doesn’t make me depressed or stressed like normal supermarkets do with their white tile floors and bright flourescent lights. I remember leaving Rochester and visiting the supermarkets back home where no Wegmans existed (but will in 2011!!!) and feeling like I have to shop to survive and having a generally unpleasant experience. Whole Foods gives me that relaxed feeling I get when I used to walk into Wegmans (which I will hope to do again in 2011). I don’t feel stressed to hastily buy my food and rush out of the store.

Another reason why I am sticking with Whole Foods is because of their values. I started eating more healthily when I returned home from college and more so (I think) after I moved out of my parents’ house. That still wasn’t enough though, and watching Food, Inc. made me glad I started shopping at Whole Foods. I was already concerned about what was in my food, but Whole Foods takes it a step further. I don’t really feel any healthier physically, but I do feel more mindfully peaceful that they have a high set of standards that must be met before the products in their stores end up in people’s bodies and that my money is going towards values that I support.

Whole Foods is the closest I can be to Wegmans without having to drive miles and miles to Roche Bros. or going even more out of my way to Trader Joe’s. Would I drive even more out of my way to go to Wegmans once they open up in the area? Probably. Sorry, Whole Foods, but you will never replace Wegmans in my heart.