Please - I’m staved of decent discourse here.

Brendan
Belfast Ireland

It is obvious you were very mature for your age when younger, some would call you ’self contained’ but it was really about what you wanted form the world yourself and others. You get a natural strengh from saying and feeling and knowing that it’s no big deal to say ‘I’m me’.

And as you have written, mostly people were satisfied with that, and you, - ‘just the way you are’ they didn’t have a problem with you just being you as you want yourself to be known.

And may I say that you are then due an apology from the group who want or hope, that you can be taken to a place (mental and or sexual) that you simply don’t want.

I hear you loud and clear. Being who are is not a walking contact ad for people of a certain ilk. But do yourself a favour - if at first people thought you maybe up for something you were not up for, then I think they would get the message form you very soon that actually you are simply not interested. But I’m sure you have been handeling that well enough.

Yes I know there are people out there that won’t take ‘no thanks’ for an answer. But that is true for all social sexual situations. So I think perhaps you are questioning what appears to be a new and yes quite prevelenat change in societies mores.

Namely why has there been an increase of needy people who want to have sexual contact with people of colour. I certinaly think that white people appear to be on a quest to make up for lost time and also that people of colour also enjoy fufilling their fantasies - and (vice a versa) that’s the internet for you - it opens and helps people explore their need to do what they want to do. I think that can only be good because if people suppress themselves and their (legal) urges that’s much wrose - it leads to more resentment and violence and sorrow suppressing drugs.

So you have more people of all races being open about why they would find what you are *generically* interesting for sexual purposes. I say *all* races because their are a lot of black people who have an asian sexual fetish. That’s not to say that interricalism is not about racism it can be of course. But I’ll tell you I’d rather people worked through it by meeting and talking with people of colour rather than hurting themselves and others. Just think of all the fear and tension that has been got rid of by people simply being with one another. And that goes for by far the majority of encounters.

So what can you do if you simply don’t want the attention and I mean you as you.

Well from what I can glean you are open to suggestions as to how to be creative in telling people that you have a contribution to make that speaks of where you are sexually and mentally. You want to be subtle to the unsubtle - OK I’m taking a chance here but here it goes.

If you get anyone who is curious and needs you to ‘explain’ why they find you attractive you just might try - if you like - creatively telling them the story of Monkey- the Chinese folk tale. It is now the most popular chinese folk tale at the moment (it has just been made into an intelligent musical for the UK and US stage). Why? because it has all the aspects of human behaviours in one tale. It shows we can be like monkey the main character clumsy helpful heroic or pig ( aminor character) who simply wants to satisfy his urges or the skulman the despressive pedant.

They are all interesting and enterianing aspects of our existence. But sometimes you really do feel for the philosopher priest having to put up with so much confusion and mayhem.

Well come back to my Irish neighbourhood.

Good luck.

Somewhat relatedly, I went to a museum with a friend last Saturday, a really really huge museum with lots of stuff to see, and some technical stuff to try out and touchscreens to mess with and quizzes to take and we kind of kept running around and pushing buttons and whenever something took more than three seconds we were instantly bored and moved on. No button to press? Just stuff to look at? Boring! We kept joking how the internet had ruined us for life, but man, it’s sad. Kids these days! (Also, this reminds me that I’d meant to upload some pics to Flickr. How apropos.)