Tag Archives: adulthood
October 26, 2008 

The Kung Fu Life

Recently, my sifu has asked me to help out with the kung fu school just to have an extra body. Partly the reason why I chose my current apartment location was to be closer to the school (and work) and avoid driving lots of extra miles each day. Since I am so close anyway, there isn’t any reason for me to not help out (barring availability) so I have been showing up on Saturday mornings to help throughout the day.

The one bit that has been feeling very awkward is the pee-wee class which ranges in ages from 3 to 6 years old. The reason why it feels so awkward teaching them is that I have no idea how to deal with them. I’m not even really teaching them per se as I am refining little things and generally helping the kids get the idea of what they’re supposed to do. Eventually, I learned that sometimes you just need to physically pick the kids up and move them. Some of their vocabulary isn’t fully fleshed and without any guidance, they will just end up staring at the ceiling or lying down on the floor. I don’t want to yell at them (not that there is any reason to), but I don’t understand to what degree I can “scold” them. Having some of the parents there makes it even more awkward, but it wouldn’t be that much different if they weren’t there either. Teaching some of the older youths is not so awkward and much easier. They have the capacity to do various things on their own and comprehend what you’re doing. Communicating with them is also easier.

Still, there is somewhat of a disconnect between my new role (even as limited as it is) and how I feel right now. I’m still a student of the school, but taking on this new leadership role is forcing me to become more proactive too. Beforehand, I had always just let other “staff” or “senior” students handle things. It really hasn’t felt like much time has passed since I started doing kung fu even though it’s been a little over a year, and I’m somewhat a “senior” student. It’s a number of things that contribute to that — being an adult over 18 years, the level and progression of material I know, and the time I’ve spent there.

When I was growing up, I always thought that I would try to stay a kid. I still need to mature a whole lot mentally (I’m just starting to shed my “college kid” mentality), but this new role is also starting to make act more “adult” so I can be a role model for the younger kids. For the ones in high school, the difference is a little more blurred between me and them. They’re still kids, but they’re also in high school (and most of them are beyond my current level anyway). Sometimes I feel old, but it almost isn’t an issue since we bond over so many other things. Age only really comes into play because of we adults have more experience and wisdome (hopefully) to impart on the younger ones when the need arises.

May 15, 2008 

Being a Grown-Up

Being out of school for one year now has really changed a lot in the way I live. The “college life” is not one I can really do anymore. There are so many things that I just don’t do anymore. I’m losing interest in primetime television shows similarly how I eventually lost interest in Saturday morning cartoons when I was younger. There are hardly any games worth my time anymore (except for Nintendo and a few other handfuls). I’m starting to rediscover again how much crap I’ve collected and don’t need. I don’t try to be a stupid, cheap idiot as opposed to being frugal (big, big difference), and I don’t really do random things anymore. The whole lifestyle I had in college — one that everyone falls into just because it’s the thing to do (seriously, just go to Stuff College People Life) — isn’t who I am anymore.

Things change and lose their charm, and we eventually have to grow up. Maybe not now, but at some point. The college lifestyle isn’t really one I would want to jump back into anyway. When I was in my later years of college, I had gone on co-op for a long time with only one quarter of summer classes. By the time I had returned back to campus, the world I was accustomed to there felt so different and alien even with the few familiar pieces. I felt so old seeing all the young and inexperienced freshmen. I realized at some point in college that I would have to make some sacrifices in order to focus on my growing academic workload.

In a way, leaving college was similar to leaving high school. You think you’re ready for the road ahead, and yet there is still so much you don’t know. Then suddenly you’re just tossed into a different situation, and now you have to figure out things all over again. Looking back at high school students now, they are so young and inexperienced just like we were once. I’m now starting to have to deal with more grown-up things that the cocoon of college doesn’t really prepare you for — the kinds of things you don’t learn in classrooms. The freedom is there, but it is not something I have really had to deal with before.

I’m starting to appreciate shared human experiences more and more despite the “socialness” of the web and new emerging technologies. Now I’m starting to look at the housing market (seems like a great time to buy), considering graduate school a little seriously, thinking about the stock market, and trying to take care of myself in general (while I’m still living at home with my parents). There is still a lot of growing up I have to do, and that’s the part I don’t like.

Disclaimer: I may speak generally, but this is really from my perspective. It is by no means a declarative statement on the world.

February 24, 2007 

Snow

Journey

Winter is never as fun as it used to be. When you’re a kid, you don’t have to worry about things because your parents took care of that for you. Now that I’ve reached adulthood, I’ve got things to worry about like groceries, supplies, school, and work. Most of all, I need a car where I currently live, and that is no fun in the winter.

However, the one thing I do like about winter is goofing off in the snow (weather permitting it safe enough) and making giant pictures. I would make snowmen, but the snow in Rochester is too dry and fluffy for it.

June 29, 2006 

What It Is Like To Be Old

Sometime during May 2006, I randomly decided to watch Yu-Gi-Oh. I developed some interest in it my late senior year in high school and kept regular track of it into my second year of college. By that time, I stopped watching it since it had gotten so repetitive and drawn-out. Anyway, as I was waiting for Yu-Gi-Oh to come on, I was flipping through the various Saturday morning cartoons. Most of them seemed drab and unentertaining to me. Then I started thinking about all the cartoons I had watched during my childhood and even late into my adolescent years. The amount of cartoons I had watched steadily decreased the older I became. I compared these new cartoons to the ones in my past viewing experience and deemed my past better than the present.

My mind wandered to other topics such as music. Songs that were popular in 1996 (and some of which I still like listen to occasionally) are no longer played on the radio (except for very rare instances). That really made me feel old. 10 years ago I was in the sixth grade and was 12 years old. I thought about the video games I used to play and compared them to today’s games. It’s hard for me to evaluate today’s games by today’s “standards” since they are so different now. It’s easy to see the evolution that has taken place, but I find it difficult to keep up with it. As a result, I dismiss mostly every game and gamer child (anyone born in the 1990′s and later) as “bad” since they are nothing like the “old days” of my youth.

I am only 21 years old. I am still young in some respects, but just thinking about that viewpoint made me feel so old. I really understood what the generation gap was and what it felt like to be “old” and how today’s current generation is so different. I hope in time, they will come to realize the same thing. I personally have never thought that I would reach such a conclusion, but I suppose it was bound to happen eventually. It is our past (particularly our younger years) that are so formative and developmental in who we are today. Once that ground foundation is set, breaking apart and starting over is a really hard thing to do. I guess this is all part of becoming an adult.